Loss and Comfort

                Sometimes things happen that flips your world upside down. This happened this past week. Early Monday morning my Father-in-law died. He was in the hospital for a month and a half. On Sunday morning it seemed that he was feeling better and looking stronger, but that boost of energy was not to last. That night his three sons gathered around his bedside and prayed over their father. My Father-in-law was in so much pain. God answered by taking him home.

Its been a surreal week. It was like walking in slow motion one minute then lightning speed the next. There were so many people to greet and there was my poor almost 90-year-old Mother -in -law right in the middle of it. Anything "routine" went right out the window as we helped pick flowers and bought appropriate clothes for our kids to wear. There was no cooking and very little cleaning. My kids walked around with heavy hearts and my sister-in-laws and I helped our Husbands as they dealt with the loss of their father.

The kids lost time at school.

         Shopping was not done.
 
                Cleaning anything was last and not really done. The only chore I managed to do was one small load of laundry.

I did notice one thing. My Mother-in-law's house was tidy and clean as always. She has help these days but even so everything at her home was just as it always is. It was comforting to go there after the wake.

At the end of the night we would all go back to our own homes to prepare for the next day at the funeral home and there was my house in the same state that I left it in that morning.

It was not comforting.


There was the laundry that was left on the laundry room floor as I frantically searched for a black sweater to wash late the night before.

The vacuum was still in the middle of the living room and the craft room still had tons of silk flowers that were never put away from the centerpieces that I made just days before.

Those things mean nothing to me in lieu of the loss of a loved member of our family, but all together in front of us as we came home to try to recoup from the day's events...they meant so much. Having had a organized house to come home to would have felt comforting.

The funeral was just a few days ago and afterward the tradition is to go out for dinner with close family. I sat across from my sister-in-law and I noticed she was just as quiet as I was. The chatter around us was constant, but we said little. She looked tired and I imagine I looked the same. We knew this man for nearly 30 years. It hurts to say goodbye. We will miss him.

As we go back to our routines and try to help our Mother-in-law I start again trying to make sense of my world here.

As changes good and bad continue to bombard us day by day I do have the control of one aspect of it. I can make my little corner of the world a place of peace and love for my family and anyone who happens to come by.

                                      I can and I will