How Did I Get Here?

                   How did I slide into this disorganization?  



                   I have always struggled with organization. Whether it was managing my time or managing the area around me, it has always been a bit of a struggle. So knowing this about myself,  in time, I was able to adapt by keeping up (for the most part) and utilized systems that worked for me. For example: the timer method, so I wouldn't get "stuck" on something. In fact I was a bit hyper-observant of what looked out of place. The tiniest thing that wasn't even or didn't look quite right, would make me super focused on how to make it right. Most times I was not successful.


Last year was a bit of a game changer. And it was surprising to me considering that I have survived cancer and being the wife of a deployed soldier. But last year...changed things for me.

I hurt my knee. My stupid knee.

I knelt on the couch to unplug something behind it and I felt a sharp pain. The pain went away quickly and I was OK. Two weeks later My knee blew up so much I couldn't bend it, and after that it was 8 weeks of insane pain.

It was in those months that I fell behind. I could no longer bend down to scrub anything. Going up and down the stairs to do the laundry hurt so much I started to skip days.... and then weeks. The the laundry piled up. The kids and hubby pitched in, but even they had a hard time following the endless lists of chores that now I had to share with them. 

After the swelling and intense pain got a bit better, I was left with arthritis in both knees and in my shoulders. Throw in close family hospitalizations and caring for elderly parents and I became lost. And I don't get it. I've been through so much worse. Why did I allow this to derail all the good habits I had acquired? I felt defeated that I couldn't move as fast as before. Things took 10 times longer to do and everything I did left me extremely exhausted.

I gained more weight, which by the way did NOT help with my arthritis. 

My In-Laws and My Mom became more and more dependent on their grown children.

At the same time my own child left for college and another is preparing to leave soon.

I became sad and the more I fought against this new reality, the more I felt so completely lost in the mess of it.

So here I am starting over. My health was the last piece to the sad disorganized mess.

 I'm starting news habits and methods for the new me. My body is not the same and I have to adjust to it. 

My In-laws and my own mom are no longer able to care for themselves and that is another adjustment.

 I'm starting anew in a lot of areas in my life. It's a good thing. I'm calling a "do over".  I'm renewing my subscription to the fly lady. I'm following some awesome women on you tube who seem to have methods of their own and I am going to try a few that I came up with. 

    And if you are in the the same boat maybe we can climb out of this mess together.